Floccinaucinihilipilification
by podge17
Summary: 10,000 slips of paper, 1 new word, a willing Honey, hair dye, and superglue are all the twins need for their latest plan: The Ultimate Scheme of Confuzzlement! Complete chaos ensues, read if you want a laugh! Oneshot.


Title: Floccinaucinihilipilification

Rating: K

Disclaimer: God how I wish I own the twins….sigh

Summary: The twins have concocted a scheme for confuzzlement. The things that they need are: 10,000 slips of paper, 1 new word, a willing Honey, hair dye, and super-glue. Tamaki is in for a surprise.

1st Ouran fic! No flames please! Not twincest! Just the twins being devious!

Enjoy!

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"Hey! Milord! Did you win the Best-Looking Male in the School Contest?" the twins asked curiously.

"No! I didn't! And you know very well who won!" Tamaki huffed.

"Who, milord?" they asked innocently.

"Honey! Honey won! And not me! This MUST have been rigged!"

_It was at these words that the twins remembered the 10,000 votes they'd placed for Honey in the contest to make the lord depressed for their devious scheme of confuzzlement. _

"Doubt it, milord." said Hikaru.

"I mean, your just going to have to face the fact that Honey is better than you in the looks department." continued Kaoru loftily.

"Well, also in every other aspect except for height." the twins finished together.

"WAH! This is CRAP! ABSOLUTE **_CRAP!_**"

"Well, there's no need for floccinaucinihilipilification." The twins said together devilishly.

Tamaki stopped his ranting. "No need for what?"

"'Floccinaucinihilipilification.'"

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!?!" Tamaki shouted at them.

"FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION!" the twins shouted back at him.

"What does it all mean?!? WHY GOD, WHY? FIRST I LOSE EVERYTHING TO HONEY EXCEPT FOR MY WONDERFUL SMARTS! AND NOW I CAN'T PRONOUNCE THIS WORD AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL IT IS!" he yelled, panting, his arms extended towards the ceiling.

The clock struck twelve, and just then Honey came prancing into the room, saying in a sing-song voice that carried across the room: "Floccinaucinihilipilification! Floccinaucinihilipilification! Floccinaucinihilipilification! Floccinaucinihilipilification! Floccinaucinihilipilification!" over and over again.

_As Tamaki let out a strangled scream of rage the twins thought back when, earlier that day, when they were having a conversation with Honey. _

_"You're excited that you won the contest, right?" asked Kaoru. _

_"Yeah!" replied Honey excitedly. _

_"Well, since you're doing so good today, wanna know a new word?" continued Hikaru. _

_"Okay!" _

_"It's Floccinaucinihilipilification." they said together. _

_"Flocc-inau-cini-hili-pili-fica-tion." Honey said slowly, trying out the word on his tongue. _

_"Yeah! That's it! You're doing great!" the twins said enthusiastically. _

_"Now, Honey, We were wondering –" started Hikaru. _

_"– if you could do us a favor." finished Kaoru. _

_"What kind of favor Hika-chan and Kao-chan?" asked Honey innocently, little pink flowers swirling around his head. _

_"Well, when the clock hits twelve, can you skip into the host club saying the new word in a sing-song voice?" _

_"Alright!" _

_The twins smirked. This would be interesting. _

"Oh look!" the twins mock-exclaimed. "There's another thing Honey beats you at!" and with that they both strode away.

Tamaki went to go sit in his corner of woe. He was so sad he couldn't even grow any mushrooms of depression.

The twins however, as soon as they got into another room, burst out laughing.

"Quick, we need to get on to Phase 3!" Kaoru said still giggling, and they both ran off into Tamaki's private bathroom laughing while they ran, and having the time of their life.

Now, because they are all rich bastards, at Ouran you can rent a bathroom. The Host Club found this particularly useful as fan girls would dress as boys and lurk in the public bathroom for glimpses of them.

The twins pulled out Tamaki's Bathroom-key that they had stolen from his back-pack. They went inside, and stepped into his shower.

Kaoru grabbed the shampoo while Hikaru poured the contents of two small bottles that he held into the shampoo. They stirred it around for a second, then, feeling satisfied with the job, left and erased all of their presence.

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After gym class, Tamaki went into his private bathroom to take a shower. He decided to let his hair dry naturally.

When his hair was completely dry, we went to brush it and screamed. It was rock hard! And GREEN!

He rushed over to a mirror and examined his hair closely; every strand was rock hard and stuck together in stiff green spikes!

Tamaki put on a hat and ran into the third music room, crying hysterically, shouting "MOM! MOOOOOOM!"

Kyouya sighed and said, "What is it, Dad."

"My hair! My HAIR!" he screamed.

Kyouya looked at him blankly. "I can't see your hair, you have a hat on."

Tamaki whipped off his hat, which gauged several reactions.

1) Mori looked up for a brief second, almost fainted, stopped himself, and then turned back to supervise Honey's cake eating.

2) Honey stopped eating cake for a second and screamed: "TAMA-CHAN! WHO THREW UP ON YOUR HEAD?!

3) Haruhi stopped what she was doing, and went over to try and sort out the situation.

4) The twins burst out laughing, and Kaoru said: "Do you think we torture him too much?" twisting a bottle of green hair-dye in his hand.

Hikaru stopped twisting a similar bottle, except his was super-glue. (both bottles empty due to the fact that they had been poured in Tamaki's shampoo.) He looked up at Kaoru for a brief second, before they continued laughing, saying "Nahhhhh…!"

"WAH! I'M RUINED!!!!!!!!!" Tamaki screamed.

"Don't worry, Tamaki. I have a plan." Kyouya said.

"O – hic – kay." Tamaki hiccupped, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

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The next day Tamaki came in, he was bald. Completely bald. Like a sun, it was so shiny!

The fan girls were shocked.

"Girls," he said in a weak and depressed voice, "I'm afraid I'm not long for the world now."

They gasped.

"I have cancer."

"The chemo made you lose your hair in just one day?" asked the fan girls.

"Um…sure." said Tamaki, and was glomped by the fan girls seconds later.

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At the end of the day, Kyouya looked through his secret files.

"Today has reached a record number of customers, it even beat out when Bossa-Nova was dumped by Haruhi." said Kyouya happily.

Haruhi turned around in shock. "Eh?!?"

"I wonder how many guys she's accidentally dumped…" the twins' voices carried through the room, even though they were muttering.

"So your misfortune has actually benefited us. Good thing summer vacation is in a few weeks. That means that next year you can tell our customers that your 'cancer' is in remission."

The twins sulked in the corner.

"Dammit," Hikaru muttered, this time quietly.

"It worked out good." Kaoru finished.

"This is absolute crap." Hikaru moaned.

"Well, there's no need for floccinaucinihilipilification." Kaoru said, smirking.

A pillow made contact with Kaoru's face, and they both laughed, watching as Honey skipped by saying his new word. He stopped in front of them. "I said the new word you taught me! Did I do a good job?" he asked loudly.

Tamaki turned his head towards them, and realization struck. "YOU JERKS!"

Then, in unison, they said a uttered a very known word:

"Shit."

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The end! Please read and review! Hope you liked it!


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